datum | titel

28.4.2026 | my problems don't change, how i deal with them does, does it though?

I just took a trip down memorylane, and read old messages I sent to friends on discord, and I am at awe at how simialr my thought patterns were then and now. I handle them differently now, and know that those thoughts are just my brain fucking with me. But I still haven't found a solution. And the messages were like 5 years old. This made me feel a bit more insane than I usually feel for a second. What makes it feel even worse, I knew what the solution was back then and I know it now, but I still cannot get into action. What the fuck is holding me back so bad, that after at least 5 years of knowing there still is no obvious change? Well I am definetly taking this to my next therapysession...
but to end this note on a good note, it feels good to know that i suffered, It makes it easies to prozess the pain, the sadness, it makes it all feel more real and less made up and delusional. It validates all the pain I've felt.